Anita

New beginning

2008-12-19T16:07:00.003+01:00

Definitely my gall surgery was a milestone in my life. Right after that I started to work at a company which has been sympathetic since August, my first application for a job there. Although I have to learn a lot of technical and economic stuff during my work, I enjoy it. It is much better than politics or law, at least to me. The colleagues are very kind and helpful; I really like our common lunch times.
I think a new chapter has begun in my life. As my sister moved to Szeged with her boyfriend and our common cat I have to relearn how to live alone. It is hard and good at the same time but a new thing again. I have to admit also that our class reunion was instructive last week but I don’t have the mood to write more about it.

Life sucks

2008-09-20T14:03:00.000+02:00

Life sucks, at least in Hungary, nowadays. I am looking for a job, still. I hardly believe that it is so hard to find one. Of course there are several reasons for that but it will be too long to write about it. Anyway, I am pretty good at reading between the lines in the job ads, and also answering the typical questions on the interview. I have so many experiences in this. Many people keep asking me why I am still in Hungary or why I don’t ask my contacts to help. The answers are simple: I think I am too old now to start again my life in a foreign country and with the help of my contacts I could get a political job maximum, but I don’t want to work in politics anymore. Five years were more than enough for me.
Moreover, I spent one week in hospital, and I am going to have a surgery, they will take out my gall bladder, because I have a lot of small gallstones. Until that time I am on a strict diet and not allowed to drink alcohol. It was really awful to celebrate my birthday with mineral water and tea. Nevermind, after a few months, when it is all over, I’ll be healthier, and I won’t have bilious attack anymore.
Try to see the positive side and believe in Karma! (Watch the TV series: My Name Is Earl, I love it!)

Alone in the universe

2008-03-12T11:26:00.001+01:00

As it was during the last few months or years, I try to find my place in the universe. I try to find the answers for the basic questions: who I am, what I want to do with my life… etc. I don’t know the answers yet, of course. But there are several things which I am sure about. I am a lonely warrior who can not get rid of politics. Although I had enough of politics and law, I still can not get rid of them. That’s my life. I was just wondering if it is easier for other people to find their place in the universe or they just satisfied with what they have...

Time has come

2008-01-07T04:35:00.000+01:00

New Year’s Eve was pretty good. We were in a nice café with several friends and their friends. The night ended for us at 6 o’clock. Since then I was waiting for the letter from my university which arrived on last Friday. My graduation ceremony will be next Saturday in Szeged. I still can’t believe that this time has come. It was really hard to finish a faculty (law) I don’t like. Moreover, I know that I don’t want to work as a lawyer or a judge etc...
One task is done. The next one is to find a suitable job for me.

...

2007-10-29T02:14:00.000+01:00

It was a long time ago when I wrote here. Since then a lot of things (mainly bad) happened but I wasn’t in the mood to write about them. And it seems that I am not in the mood right now either.
About the good things and the future:
- We adopted a beautiful cat, she is really nice.
- I am going to take last two exams at the university soon.
- I have to find / I will find a normal job soon.

...

“Tell me baby, what's your story”

2007-02-15T14:55:00.000+01:00

I had a dream last night. I don’t remember all the details clearly, but it was a good dream.
I was in a strange room (probably a dressing room in a stadium) with my sister, when Anthony, the singer of Red Hot Chili Peppers entered. I was surprised. We introduced ourselves and talked a few minutes then Flea (who has some Hungarian roots) and Chad came into the room. They talked and went away to another corner of the room without recognizing us and I continued talking to Anthony. During this nice and long conversation, I didn’t act like a crazy fan (it is not my style at all) although I was extremely excited. When I became brave enough I asked them to make a common picture in order to have a great memory of the meeting and make some of my friends jealous. :) The only problem was that John was missing. We started to look for him, it took us cc. 15 minutes but finally we found him on the corridor. After taking a lot of common pictures they said good-bye and travelled to the next stop of their tour.
It was a really nice dream. I wish this could be true. They should come to Budapest!

Holiday

2007-01-04T11:45:00.000+01:00

Normally I don’t like Christmas. I hate the over decorated cities, the crowd everywhere, everybody says Merry Christmas to everybody even though they don’t know each other. These things are hypocritical for me. Finally it is over now.
I think I survived this Christmas very well. I met my cousin on a concert in Budapest. He was on his way to the family from London. It was good to see him again, and I had a good party also. Although I didn’t like the concert, but I liked the atmosphere, because I talked to many people, and they were open minded. It reminded me for those years I spent in the Club in Hajdúnánás. I had a long conversation with one guy, who also works in London. Somehow I had the feeling that we know each other for long time. I don’t know if this was a real feeling or just because of beer but I liked it.

Something to think about and argue

2006-12-20T15:00:00.000+01:00

Life is too short to spend time with people whom we don’t like. I think I am fed up with shallow relationships. Of course I cannot build close relationship with everybody I like, but I mean there is no need to meet somebody from time to time if I don’t like him/her, there is no need to pretend that we are friends when we are not.
On the other hand there are friends who live far away from us, and we would like to meet more often than we can. In this kind of situation internet is very big help, not only e-mails, much more the different type of messengers or even the community websites as i.e. hi5.com.

60 %

2006-12-15T13:23:00.000+01:00

Last week I passed the final exam of International Private Law. I am very tired of studying.

40 %

2006-11-22T14:23:00.000+01:00

As one of my friends would say: "Now I am 40 % of dr.". Yesterday I passed the final exam of Constitutional Law, but I still have 3 more exams to pass.

Last weekend in my hometown

2006-09-21T15:20:00.000+02:00

I spent the last weekend in my hometown visiting my family and friends. It was the best weekend I had there in the last 5 years. The reasons:

1: Everybody in the family was in good mood all the weekend. (This is not usual.) Although there was a strange conversation between me and my father, it went well at the end. He said (as I am turning to 27): Now I could walk with my 8 year old grandchild… I replied: Yes, but you wouldn’t be so happy if I came home with a baby inside when I was 19. He agreed but he didn’t say anything.

2: On Friday evening we had a really good party with a lot of old faces.

3: On Saturday there was the presentation of the rebuilt main square in the city. It became really nice.

4: Also on Saturday my high school organized a championship for handball players in every generation. I met there a lot of my old schoolmates and teachers whom I haven’t seen for 5-8 years. I enjoyed this much more then my class reunion.

5: In the evening there were a lot of people celebrating in the city. We met a couple, whom have just moved into our town. They are really nice, and I am happy that they found Hajdúnánás as their home. Late night/early morning we decided to have some kind of nostalgia, so we went to the Club, listened to music from the juke-box and danced in front of it and also on tables till 5 a.m.

I didn’t feel this good atmosphere for years.

Summary

2006-09-07T16:47:00.000+02:00

I wanted to write about our holiday in Croatia weeks ago but I was too lazy to do it. And now there are many things to write, at least shortly.
Ad 1.: The holiday was really nice in Sibenik. The most important thing was to meet my old friend Tonci. We haven’t seen each other for 4 years except that strange meeting on the highway two years ago. :) I was happy to see a part of his life and having fun together. He was our special tour guide. Although he hates this “job”, he was professional. :) Thanks again, Tonci.
Ad 2.: I started to search for a new flat in Budapest. I have to move now, because my flatmate shacked up with her boyfriend and I cannot pay this one alone. I haven’t found another flatmate. Moreover I have to find another job soon if I want to live off of my salary. Basically I have two choices:
- Keep this job until I finish university and then move abroad immediately
- Find another job with better salary here in Budapest as soon as possible
If anybody has a good idea, leave a comment. :)

Ad 3.: Today I reached 800 friends on iWiW. The last one is the band Black-Out. Yesterday I was in Zöld Pardon where they played. This wasn’t my best Black-Out concert because in this place you never have good sounding. Anyway, I like them a lot and I am waiting for the next album.

IUSY Festival 2006

2006-08-04T13:47:00.000+02:00

I am still tired because of that long week in Alicante (Spain). This was the first time, when I was just a participant and other people were organizers in the Hungarian delegation. It was strange, but I liked this new situation. I had a lot of free time and I didn’t have things to worry about.
It was really hot in Spain; we couldn’t sleep in our tents. We had to find other possibilities for this and we managed it. And the parties? Hm, I had fun, because I was with my friends but the D.J. will never be my friend. He was separated too much from the audience so we didn’t have the possibility to communicate with him. I was shocked when he played an old song of Queen after a really good Latin song. It was terrible to hear this.

I really liked this week, because I had a lot of time to go to the beach, even though it was expensive and tiring taking the bus and travelling one hour. But I get some colour finally. I met my Portuguese friends and we had a lot of fun together. I also met other “old” people from ECOSY and IUSY but I missed my Swedish friend Eric. I hope we will meet at ECOSY Veterans’ meeting.

Bush in Budapest

2006-06-23T13:44:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I had the chance to be there on Citadella, when George W. Bush had his speech closing his visit in Budapest. This was the second time in my life when I could see him live. The first was in the U.S. during his rally in the election campaign (2004). Now I could see him much closer, as I was sitting in the 3rd row right in front of him. It was terrible to wait for him on the hill at least for two hours in custom when the temperature was 34 degrees. The speech was at about 15-20 minutes without those big messages which were expected by the international media. And I am not sure that drawing a parallel between the Hungarian revolution in 1956 and the current situation in Iraq was a good idea. Anyway, I am proud of taking part in such a big event.

Prague

2006-06-23T13:27:00.000+02:00

We had a 5 day holiday in Prague this June. The weather was really nice. We had lots of sight-seeing walks in 30 degrees. Sometimes it was a bit tiring, especially on the Charles Bridge, where you must by-pass ALL the other tourists including the old ones. This made me crazy at times. But it was beautiful. Sometimes I had the impression that I could draw the map of Budapest on the map of Prague.
The high light of this journey was the concert of RHCP of course. I was very happy when I recognized that we could see the band clearly from our expensive seating places and the lavatory was really close with the bar right next to it. It was perfect for us: drinking famous Czech beer, seeing the concert etc. Moreover, at the beginning of the concert Flea said hello to the Hungarians. The show was really great, it took almost 2,5 hours, but certainly it wasn’t enough. It’s never enough.
During the concert we met some guys from Debrecen (which is very close to my hometown) and the party continued with them in a bar in the heart of Prague. I think I’ll never forget this concert.

Soccer

2006-06-08T16:09:00.000+02:00

3:1:x – university versus me. That is the result of this season. The next one will be better, I am sure. I have to agree with those people who say it’s really hard to study when you have a job. Especially study law for example, as I do. Moreover, I am not interested in law any more. I was interested when I started this faculty but it’s gone. There are two things which kept me alive in this faculty:
ad 1.: I like to finish things I started.
ad 2.: I didn’t want to feel these years being wasted.
I still have to learn something: not to lose 70-80 % of my knowledge during the exams because of stress. It’s really very important. I didn’t have this problem till I went to university. My professors made me like this with being very humiliating with everybody most of the times. Of course, there are exceptions. The bigger problem is that this experience during years has affected all part of my life.
Nevermind, it’s over now till autumn. And I have to sleep only 2 before we leave to Prague. :)

RHCP

2006-05-12T14:03:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I received the tickets to the concert of Red Hot Chili Peppers in Prague (June 14, 2006). I am really very happy. First of all, I was waiting for this opportunity since I was 16. (Long time ago :-( ). Secondly, we can go by car and spend some day in Prague as we did last year in Katowice before the U2 concert. Thirdly, I spent weeks finding company for this trip and at the end my best friends from my home town will come with me. (Or I will go with them, it depends. :-))) )
So, wait for me, Prague, wait for me, RHCP, I’ll definitely come!!!

Funny and interesting weekend

2006-05-08T16:21:00.000+02:00

I went home this weekend because there was a meeting of my class from primary school. The idea came to my former classmates’ mind from iWiW, as we found each other there after losing contact years ago. (By the way, the number of my friends on iWiW is 575 right now.)
The meeting was very good although not everybody could participate. We had a lot of fun together, and my firm belief is that this could happen because of the spontaneous organising without the pressure of any anniversary.

Hangover rules!

2006-04-24T14:36:00.000+02:00

I know hangover is not something what someone could be proud of. But yesterday was the second round of the general elections in Hungary and it had a fabulous result. The socialists scored an outstanding victory. As I work in the headquarter of the Hungarian Socialist Party I am proud being part of this success. This is the first time since 1989 that a governing coalition could be re-elected. Therefore we had a huge party last night. I don’t want to go into the details…

Please, visit my Swedish friend's blog also: http://www.ericsundstrom.blogspot.com/

Thank you, Eric

...

2006-04-13T16:33:00.000+02:00

Life is short, sometimes too short.

I try to believe that every single thing that happens to us has its own reason.

Waiting

2006-03-03T14:14:00.000+01:00

I think I’m getting exhausted and lazy at the same time nowadays. After I finished my thesis I should have started to study for my final exams (5!!! of them) but I don’t have the mood for it. And I don’t have the mood for working either. In the cold office I wait for the spring but much more for the summer. I’ve already planned a lot of things. First of all, when I get my degree I’ll go to Brussels to visit a friend of mine and drink a bottle of Tokaji together that I gave her years ago. Then a friend will come from abroad and we’ll drink beer, dance etc. together a lot. And it seems that I’ll go to Spain for holiday. Etc., etc…..
It is still March 3, and 8 °C.

Success

2006-02-23T14:20:00.000+01:00

At the end of January I passed my last exam: financial law. I finished my thesis and I started to be prepared for the final exams. I never thought that the day is so close, when I can touch my degree with my own hands. I am so happy but I still have to study hard for it.

Incubus: The Warmth

2006-01-16T16:57:00.000+01:00

"I'd like to close my eyes go numb
but there's a cold wind coming from
the top of the highest high-rise today.

It's not a breeze ‘cause it blows hard.
Yes and it wants me to discard the humanity I know
Watch the warmth blow away.

Don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
experience the warmth before you grow old

Do you think I should adhere
to that pressing new frontier
and leave in my wake a trail of fear?
Or should I hold my head up high
and throw a wrench in spokes by
leaving the air behind me clear?"

New Year

2006-01-03T14:31:00.000+01:00

I wish my depression will be gone soon and I can live through the year 2006 without it. I really hope that this year will be full of happiness, love, success and I will be able to stabilize my life somehow.

Worst Christmas ever

2006-01-03T14:30:00.000+01:00

I spent Christmas holiday with my parents and my sister at home as usual. I didn’t feel any kind of Christmas feeling. And it seems that this period (December – January) will be full of depression, which means that I am going to be closed again. The only thing which helped me to stay alive is the Birthday party of one of my best friends in my hometown. 26 December is always about this party and those friends whom I met once a year. This time somehow I couldn’t be part of the celebration. I was some kind of invisible person there.

Emptiness

2005-12-21T14:22:00.000+01:00

Somehow I feel empty. This emptiness is usual for me in every December, especially during Christmas. Now it’s much worse after finding the light at the end of the channel and lost it very quickly.

“I try to fly away but it's impossible

And every breath I take gives birth to deeper sighs

And for a moment I am weak So it's hard for me to speak

Even though we're underneath the same blue sky

…
I've had my share of pleasure

And I've tasted pain

I never thought that I would touch an angel's wings

There's a journey in my eyes

It's getting hard for me to hide

Like the ocean at the sunrise
…
Love, can you find me in the darkness, and love,

Don't let me down

There's a journey in my eyes

It's getting hard for my to hide

And I never thought I'd touch an angel's wings”

/Anastacia - Heavy On My Heart/

Confused

2005-12-21T13:40:00.000+01:00

"Talking 'bout a woman
Talking 'bout a man
I just can't seem to get it together
Joining hands in hands
The clock it ticks and it tocks
But my heart is on the rocks
I'm confused, so confused"

/Lenny Kravitz - Confused/

U2: Acrobat

2005-12-19T11:27:00.000+01:00

"Don't believe what you hear - don't believe what you see

If you just close your eyes you can feel the enemy

When I first met you, girl, you had fire in your soul

What happened? your face of melting snow

Now it looks like this

And you can swallow, or you can spit

You can throw it up, or choke on it

And you can dream - so dream out loud

You know that your time is coming round

So don't let the bastards grind you down

No, nothing makes sense - nothing seems to fit

I know you'd hit out if you only knew who to hit

And I'd join the movement

If there was one I could believe in

Yeah, I'd break bread and wine

If there was a church I could receive in

'Cause I need it now

To take a cup - to fill it up

To drink it slow - can't let you go

I must be an acrobat

To talk like this and act like that

You can dream - so dream out loud

And don't let the bastards grind you down

Oh, it hurts, baby

What will we do now it's all been said?

No new ideas in the house and every book has been read

And I must be an acrobat

To talk like this and act like that

And you can dream - so dream out loud

And you can find your own way out

And you can build and I can will

And you can call - can't wait until

And you can stash, and you can sieze

In dreams begin responsibilities

And I could love, and I could learn

And I know that the tide is turning round

So don't let the bastards grind you down"

Concert again

2005-12-12T17:27:00.000+01:00

I have to say, this weekend was very busy and frenetic. Huh, I am still exhausted.

Friday
I received an invitation to a party of FIB, but it wasn’t that kind of “leisure program” as I expected. So I left early and I met my close friend for talking, drinking beer and watching movie. I really liked this night and I’m missing it.

Saturday
Fantastic Black-Out concert! I almost refused to go, because I was absolutely tired and my stomach had problems. Khm. Then I decided to go anyway ‘cause I really like this band and my friend was already on her way to Budapest to come with me. We arrived in time absolutely; the concert was very good again. The only problem was that we had to wait a lot for my close friend. Then we figured out some misunderstanding about promises. Anyway, he arrived at the end of the concert. I was happy to see him again and to have honest and deep talks till the pub was closed.

Fun

2005-12-09T14:20:00.000+01:00

My friends on iwiw are more than 200. That’s fun.

Fly Away

2005-12-09T12:56:00.000+01:00

"I wish that I could fly

Into the sky

So very high

Just like a dragonfly

I'd fly above the trees

Over the seas in all degrees

To anywhere I please

Oh I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah yeah yeah

Oh I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah yeah yeah

Let's go and see the stars

The milky way or even Mars

Where it could just be ours

Let's fade into the sun

Let your spirit fly

Where we are one

Just for a little fun

Oh oh oh yeah !

I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah yeah yeah

I want to get away

I want to fly away

Yeah yeah yeah

I got to get away

Feel I got to get away

Oh oh oh yeah..."

Lenny Kravitz

Changes

2005-12-07T15:09:00.000+01:00

I feel the wind of change. This is an ambivalent feeling. I have to finish the university as soon as I can because I am totally fed up with it. It is not easy; usually I don’t feel the mood of studying. I should find other possibilities for earning extra money until I can find a new job having my university degree. I am working on it.

I feel that I wasted 4 years of my life with politics, four wonderful years of my young age. On the other hand during these years I got many first hand experiences which make me stronger and cleverer. I’m wondering how this benefit will help me afterwards.

I have new friends who are far from politics which is a great thing. I’m very thankful for this. Now I feel as a man of poise again. And I find myself again an attractive woman nevertheless I’m not younger or thinner than let’s say 2 years ago. Now I live again.

Big Zoo of God with short planking…

2005-11-10T16:29:00.000+01:00

In the last few days I had a lot of fun. I was on a Station concert, heard live guitar music, went shopping with a friend and again with my lovely sister. I also went to the library to collect materials for my thesis. So, altogether it was nice. But today was a whole mess. I had a lot of job to do as I had to replace one of my colleagues as well. The things went fine more or less, although I knew that there would be problems with some of the instructions. I had to do my job following these nonworking instructions as I am just an inferior and I cannot say that it will not work. Then the problems came. Nothing really serious but people thought that it is my fault. What is not true! I hate that. Why I have to make stupid things and taking the responsibility for other people’s stupid idea??? That is the Hungarian habit. Nice!

Silence

2005-11-07T17:54:00.000+01:00

The last week was very busy for me. And it seems that this week is going to be very busy as well.
The weekend was great. On Saturday finally we made our forum meeting. We had a lot of fun and drinks of course. It was really good to have party with my new friends especially that I didn’t have to talk about politics at all. I like it. And now I met other nice people. As it is usual, the place was closed with us some time at about 4 o’clock in the morning. I arrived home next midday as I didn’t sleep at home. I still have missing pictures…

Long weekend

2005-11-02T17:22:00.000+01:00

During the weekend I visited my parents with my sister. It was good to see them again and also my grandparents. On Saturday we went to Görbeháza (Spiral City :-) ) to celebrate one of my friends 30. birthday. I haven’t seen him for months. And I used this occasion to visit my goddog (Maszat). He is still so nice.

Live music

2005-11-02T15:08:00.000+01:00

On last Wednesday one of my friends invited me to see a guy who usually plays guitar at a nice place in Budapest. I really liked the idea, especially that I was in a bad mood and I needed something to cheer me up.
The evening started very well. Finally I met my friend’s brother, who is also a nice guy.
When we arrived to the place, the guitar player guy came to us to introduce himself, and I was shocked. I remembered that I met him in August in an open air place on a Kowalsky meg a Vega concert. He was standing at the same bar and we couldn’t stop looking at each other. And now he remembered me, and after his play he came back to us to continue the conversation.
Tonight he is going to play again, and I will be there.

New period

2005-10-26T10:57:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I sent an e-mail to my colleagues and friends in ECOSY and IUSY about finishing my job in Fiatal Baloldal. It was a hard moment for me, because I liked to be an active part of the international life. I hope that I can keep in touch with those nice people whom I met during my work.

Monday again

2005-10-24T15:49:00.000+02:00

Yes, it is Monday again, and I have to work. And as usual, I have a lot of things to do. But to cheer myself up, I try to remember Saturday night. We went to the concert of STATION, and we had some surprise for the band. First we made some “balls with points” for Tibi Dévényi. He is a well known person in Hungary, and the bassist of the band (LeMon) sometimes uses his name on their forum. It is hard to explain the whole story behind it, but with the help of the drummer (Viktor) we could put these balls during the concert close to the bassist’s area. He was shocked, and the only thing he could say: “Stupid! Our fans are stupid!” And he laughed as we did. For me the best part was the Angel of Harlem from U2, which was interpreted by the singer (Laca) as: Dark Angel of Harlem. This song was for me, as I use this nickname (dark angel) on their forum. It was amazing, most of the people looked at me, but I couldn’t do anything else, just standing there, and watching the band. At the end we gave a bracelet for the guys with this word: bravery. It was a joke, because we usually call them on the forum: “shy males”. So, the concert was very good, and we had a lot of fun. There is a picture, where you can see, that not only the fans are stupid, but also the members of the band.

Strange days

2005-10-21T10:50:00.000+02:00

The winter is coming for sure. The weather is awful: rain, 10 °C …etc. In the last few days I was always sleepy and tired and it was hard to concentrate on my job. And of course my mood is like the weather. I try to compensate this, therefore I am chatting with one of my colleagues and two friends whom we met at a STATION concert. I have to say: we are crazy together. We are planning a lot of funny surprise for the band tomorrow, as we’ll go again to their concert. This will be a lot of fun.

Cold Weather

2005-10-18T13:29:00.000+02:00

It is cold in Budapest now, even though the Sun is shining. I hate this. The winter is coming.
I want to go back to Portugal, where everything is much nicer. Sun, big blue ocean, latin rhythms... etc.

Party for members of U2.hu

2005-10-17T15:42:00.000+02:00

On Saturday I went for this party first time in my life. Although I like the music of U2 and visited them in Katowice this summer on a concert, I am not a member of this interactive group. I went with a few friends, who are members. At the beginning there were some concert DVD’s shown, but at that time we preferred to sit close to the bar, drink beer and talk. Then the U2 karaoke started and it was absolutely funny. So, it was a great night, especially that two musicians from one my favourite Hungarian bands (Station) were there as well.